Poisoned Mac N Cheese

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While living with Jonas, Daniel was frequently given mac 'n' cheese as food. He grew a great distaste for this mac and cheese and eventually claimed to be "poisoned" with Jalapeños, honey mustard, and spicy ranch which were in the mac 'n' cheese.

The Poisoning

When Daniel was "enjoying" another plate of mac and cheese, he remarked how it tasted like "cow piss" and was absolutely disgusting, pointing out little black flecks in his food (most likely pepper)

He then checked the fridge and noticed that there was no milk available to make his mac and cheese. Following this discovery, Daniel pulled a spicy ranch bottle from his fridge and questioned why the mac n cheese tastes like "ranch with a more tangy taste". He then took a closer look at the honey mustard and it contained similar black specs to the ones found in the mac and cheese. He deduced that a lot of this honey mustard was used because he could "see a line" and there was no sound when he shook it.

Daniel then goes back and continues eating, saying that he never thought he would be "putting this all over the media" but it "started affecting his family and his girlfriend", so he threw away the mustard mac n cheese, plate and all. This is one of the most life changing moments of Larson's career.


Daniel: -going to now ask my care provider if I could get macaroni and cheese because that's all we fucking have in this house.

Daniel: This tastes like cow piss. Literal fucking cow piss. I want to know who the fuck put jalapenos in this. Holy fuck, my mouth is on fire. Holy fuck!

Daniel: I know why this taste different, it's got something in it that's like sour as well. And if you look its got like little things in it, I don't know what it is. I've never seen that-

Daniel: Well that makes a lot of sense. We don't have the fucking milk, so the asshole care provider didn't do the fucking milk. Um, the only thing they could've done was water, but that's not the taste, but whatever.

Daniel: Like, I'm going to be straight up serious. Why does it, the mac and cheese taste a lot like, like ranch, but with like a tangy taste, like, that doesn't make any sense. Like, honey mustard-

Daniel: The mac and cheese tastes more of like honey mustard, which is really weird. And if you look, bingo! It's got the, it's got the s-

Daniel: I want to see how much honey mustard they actually used.

Daniel: Most of it.

Daniel: -could see actually a little bit of a line how much has actually been used, and you can't hear anything when you shake it.

Daniel takes a bite of the mac and cheese and runs to spit it out.

Daniel: Fuck! Fuck!

Daniel: -because it just tastes so fucking bad and it's, it's been sitting here for like about an hour now, and I never thought I would be this angry to where I would be putting this fucking shit all over the fucking media. But guess what, it's starting to effect my family, and my girlfriend, and I'm not going to put up with this.

Daniel tosses the mac and cheese into a trash can.

Daniel: There! Fucking asshole! Put that all the way into the trash. Fucker.

Daniel: I think they added canola oil too, which is why it tastes so fucking bad. Fucker.